need another drink. this is the easiest way
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
