Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
