I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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