Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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