I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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