It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
