ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
