I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
