called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
