Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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