Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
