It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
