i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
