You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
