His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
