My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
