I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
should my penis look like a turkey
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
