dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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