i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
