Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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