it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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