I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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