omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
