I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You have to summon your inner elephant
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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