I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
