Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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