So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
