sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
