so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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