We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
