you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
