Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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