Will you blow on my dice?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
