I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
