he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
