I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
