i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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