I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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