I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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