oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
