I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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