Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
