Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
