Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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