Yo dont text me then not text me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
