Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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