if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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