Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's always time for handjobs
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
