OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Shame - the story of my life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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