You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
