Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
